What, You Worry?

It’s an age-old human tendency that sometimes goes too far

Ever since the Stone Age, humans have been worrying—and relieving their worries through problem-solving!

How to Help a Worried Friend

• Don’t say “Don’t worry!” It invalidates what your friend is feeling.
  
• Do say “Do you want to talk about it?” Then, take the time to really listen.
  
• Do say “Is there anything I can do to help you?” You can suggest ideas, says social worker Bruce Curry, but don’t jump in and problem-solve for your friend. Your solution isn’t necessarily hers.

He didn’t have soaring gas prices, corporate cutbacks and Internet scams worry about, but the Stone-Age cave dweller was just as prone to anxiety as modern man. “Worry is part of being human,” says licensed clinical social worker Bruce Curry of Lehigh Valley Hospital and Health Network. “It’s our brain’s way of telling us we have a problem to solve—and problem-solving has been the key to survival since the dawn of mankind.”

Simple worries (“Did I wear the right thing?” “Can I get there on time?”) flit in and out of our consciousness every day. Worry is a feature of the culture we live in, says Curry’s colleague, certified chaplain Barbara Rutt, R.N. “The news media bring us graphic images of accidents and disasters,” she says. “And advertisers manufacture worries, like not looking young enough or having a clean enough kitchen.”

Simple worry can escalate to anxiety, a persistent sense of unease along with physical symptoms like sweaty hands, racing heart, upset stomach, headache and sleeplessness.

What’s going on? That is precisely the question to ask yourself when anxiety sets in, Curry says, because it’s problem-solving time. The process involves four steps:

1. Recognize the problem. Sounds simple, but many people go out of their way to avoid admitting something’s wrong.
2. Collect data. “Say your problem is how to cross a busy street,” Curry says. “You see no cars coming and think you’re home free. But is the street extra-wide? Is it icy? Are you carrying something heavy? Collect all the data you can, because anticipating the possibilities is what makes a good problem-solver.”
3. Process the data. Calmly think through the possible solutions to your problem. A strategy that worked 20 years ago won’t necessarily work now.
4. Act. This step isn’t essential to easing worry, Curry says. “Whether or not you choose to act, you’ve empowered yourself by finding out that the anxiety-producing situation is something you can handle.”

And if you can’t? When anxious feelings take over and keep you from functioning, it’s time for professional help. “There may be an underlying emotional illness that needs to be treated,” Curry says. For anxiety itself, a combination of medication and counseling often works best, and relaxation techniques help, too.

Some people just naturally handle worry better than others. “We all work toward a
comfort level in life,” Curry says, “and some of us aren’t quite comfortable unless we’re worrying.” If that describes you, don’t panic! “Worry really is a sign of a healthy, working mind,” Curry says. “If you’re temporarily stuck, there’s no shame in seeking help.”

For Rutt, the solution is trusting in something greater than yourself. “The energy you spend on worry is wasted energy,” she says. “Hand your burdens to God or your higher power through prayer, centering or meditation; know you’re not alone, and rejoice. Rejoicing is the opposite of worrying.”

Want to Know More about finding professional help for anxiety? Talk to our staff at 610-402-CARE.

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